Talking to Philly Teens During Teen DV Month

This winter, Olney Elementary School's guidance counselor reached out to WIT with an issue. She had noticed some unhealthy relationship behaviors among a large number of her female students. Would WIT be able to work with her students around healthy relationships for teens?

Shortly afterwards, WIT's Community Educator Larry began visiting Olney Elementary School once a week to lead WIT's Teen Empowerment Self-Defense Program (TESP) with the 8th-grade girls.

Combining empowerment self-defense training and primary prevention education, TESP provides the tools and education that teens will be able to use to stay safe -- as well as help others around them stay safe -- in the real world.

A key part of that education includes how to recognize unhealthy relationship behaviors. One activity to facilitate this -- and one of Larry's favorites for sparking conversation -- is the Red/Yellow/Green Flags activity. Larry places a red, yellow, and green flag in different spots in the room, and then names a certain behavior. Students will decide individually whether that behavior is a green (safe), yellow (caution) or red (danger!) flag in a relationship and then move towards the color they've chosen.

“This is a space dedicated to talking about healthy relationships, because a lot of young people wouldn’t get that opportunity in their day-to-day schooling," Larry said. "There are so many behaviors that middle school kids think about."

One behavior that often causes a lot of discussion: Going out of your way not to make your partner angry.

Most students would agree -- this is a green flag. But Larry then asked them to delve further, posing the question: "If your partner is getting angry all the time, and you have to change your behavior in order to avoid make them angry, is that a sign of a healthy relationship?"

Within these activities and discussions, students also have the opportunity to share questions and examples from their personal lives: How long should you get to know someone before you say you're in a relationship? How do I set boundaries with a friend if I'm worried I'll hurt their feelings? What if I'm feeling peer pressure to date someone I don't want to date?

Through WIT's Teen Empowerment Self-Defense Program, the 8th grade girls at Olney Elementary have a supportive environment in which to talk about and navigate these questions in the real world. A space to gain -- and practice -- the skills and knowledge they can use to stay safe, physically and emotionally, in their relationships.


1 in 3 U.S. teens experience dating violence within a relationship.

WIT's Teen Empowerment Self-Defense Program (TESP) teaches emotional, verbal, and physical self-defense and is designed for teens of all gender identities ages 12-18. To bring TESP to your school or group -- or to inquire about other WIT trainings around domestic violence, substance abuse, and gender-based violence -- contact us at lbodhuin@helpwomen.org