by Maggie Szeder,
Prevention, Education & Outreach Manager
Every educator has one. A story about the worst workshop or presentation they ever did. And I’m not talking about situations where the technology failed, or the power went out 11 minutes into a Zoom presentation, or even getting stuck on the El with no cell reception and arriving late. (Although all of these have happened.) I’m talking about when everything aligns in the worst way, and the result is disastrous.
For me, this class happened about a year after I began working at Women In Transition. As the lead instructor of our WAVE Self-Defense program, I was starting to get confident teaching the class, and so naturally, this class threw me a curve ball.
Strike one: the organizers of the class had failed to let me know that the participants would be bringing their babies with them.
The WAVE self-defense class is based on activities and discussion. It requires attention, concentration, and space to move around. This class had none of that. It was pure, utter chaos. There were crying, crawling babies underfoot, a constant undercurrent of baby babbling noise, multiple side conversations, and a stream of parents entering and exiting the room for diaper changes.
Strike two: the participants had been told this training was mandatory, and most of them did not want to be there. This led to strike three, when 45 minutes into the class, the fire alarm went off. And honestly, I’m 85% sure one of the participants pulled that alarm. By the time we re-entered the building, my resolve had completely crumbled, and I let them leave early.
But one person stayed. One person who needed help.
I ended up sitting in that room with them for another hour, listening as they shared their story and helping them build a safety plan for their abusive situation.
As I left that facility, much later than I was expecting to, I reflected on a few lessons that I had learned that day:
Babies are not good self-defense class participants.
A self-defense class should never be mandatory.
There’s a reason for every class. Even the worst class in the world. If you leave having made a positive impact for at least one person, it was all worth it.